Mafe's ViewPoint

This question prompts me upon opening the FM radio on my mobile phone minutes ago. It somehow caught me off-guarded for I’ve never been contemplating on my life these days as I’m buzzing around with my daily business. I’m somehow forgetting the most important things in my life thinking of ways how to earn a little extra for my family. However how much effort I am exerting is to how much farther I get away from what matters most. I forget about my spirituality which I have had worked hard long ago before I ventured abroad for greener pastures. This same question keeps on popping up my mind while I’m writing this entry because I’m in such a point in my life where I don’t know what really matters most. I just don’t know perhaps time has the answer to this question. However diverse are the answers to this question, I know you have your own standpoint on this and probably right now, you are also thinking of what truly matters most in your life.

This line has been my motto these days. Despite the many challenges our family has been undergoing these past few months, I’m not discouraged nor hopeless of the future; instead, it keeps me on my feet and working towards the achievement of my goals for my family. I keep telling myself this line for it makes me inspired in doing things such as blogging. Holding on perhaps might not sound as motivating to others but if you consider it somehow it has its own hope for itself. To hold on means to endure and that would lead you to be steadfast in all your endeavors in life. So, just keep holding on to your dreams while working hard towards achieving them. Have a great day everyone!

Up to this moment, I’m still bothered about my career move next year. I don’t know whether I’d stay here for good when I come back or to process my papers again for another adventures in another place. There’s a saying that says, ‘Let’s cross the bridge when we get there’, to which for me sounds like so uncertain and thrilling. I don’t know what to do really sometimes I found myself just thinking and noticing myself aback contemplating about the indefinite future. Perhaps I’m just so pressured these days as again I’m about to fly and work in that same horrible place so personally to say. However how much experiences I’ve gained from there still the weird memories keep haunting me at one time or another. This I cannot explain further. Perhaps I need to stop now and watch some inspiring videos. Smiles. Have a great day everyone!

It’s just a matter of time management they said but women are really highly capable of multi-tasking. Likewise, I’m even busier than a bee these days making the most out of my short vacation with my family here in my wonderful hometown. There’s nothing sweeter than spending quality time with loved ones and friends. I hope I can drag the days to make it even slower so I can prolong my vacation here but sad to say I need to go back to work in a few weeks from now. It makes me even sadder thinking of leaving my family again in search for much more greener pastures. All these years, I’ve been always thinking of how to give them as much as possible all their needs and wants. It just occurred to me these days that I haven’t bought much for myself! I don’t know but when I go shopping I always think of them first instead of my own clothes, for an instance. This is a great and innate culture of Filipinos I believe. This same quality makes foreigners put their hats off on us Filipinos for we think of family first among other things. Smiles. We find glory and happiness in life in treasuring our loved one most especially our families among other things in this world. I’m so proud of it.

Just a few moments ago, my relatives came at our new abode and we chatted for a few minutes then I realized all their questions were all for just crazy nonsense but about petty things. I hate it when they would just come and give us crappy comments when in fact they are just mirroring themselves. Oh well, as what my dear Canadian friend said before we parted ways years ago that I mustn’t get any SHIT in whatever ways from other people. Then I remembered and came back to my consciousness right at this moment that I have to cool down and shrug everything off. I can truly say, ‘I DON’T DAMN F*****N CARE!. Whatever! Sighs!

It’s been a week now that I haven’t met my Kstude Andy. I think he’s off to SK too by next week and that means I’m off with my part time work. I always stay at home since I don’t have anything to do while on a vacay here in my hometown. I hope things would get better in the future since my family has been encountering a lot of hardships these past few months since we transferred house. Well, I’m thankful though for I know life at the suburb is much harder than our present home. Here, we’ve got all our freedom that I’ve been dreaming of having since I was little. I’m happy now that we are living far from our relatives and much happier because I can walk and do anything I want without thinking of other people minding my business instead of their own. Call me paranoid but that’s the truth of it all. Such a pathetic situation, eh? Sighs.

I was supposed to meet some close friends today but one cancelled that’s why I’m roaming around here online just for fun while dropping some love links to my online buddies. I’ve been so keen at reading some quality posts over some webzines while chatting some of my friends online on FB. Whew what a multi tasker am I, indeed! Smiles. As my vacation days are waning here, I feel like not coming back there but I have to finish what I’ve just started so I can proceed to my next goal. I’ve never been so happy seeing my family in our new house now than before. Of course we often visit our old ancestral house though for I can never dare ignore the place where I spent all my wonderful childhood years. Smiles. Oh I can’t wait to come and visit our old house over the next weekend. I just hope. I would surely post some photographs here when I can. Smiles.

There has been a lot of things to think about these past few days but it seems that there is one thing that bothers me most. That is, to stay here and settle down for good at my hometown or go abroad again to earn more and save a little? Kidding aside, it just occurred to me lately that I’ve been working abroad for quite some time now and I believe it’s time for me to take life a little bit slowly for myself and be with my family more often, if not every day, for my parents aren’t getting any younger and so do I. I haven’t made up my mind yet of this thing for I believe this is one of the major leaps I have to take in my life so far. I have to take the risk again of starting all over again like settling down and finding my own niche as to which career path to really take. Of course, I do have my contingency plans already but still I don’t know which is which. Well, as fickle as I am right now or I mean, as ever in my personality which makes me so vulnerable at times I find myself so weak at some points in my life. Well, at least I have learned or so to say I have been learning. Smiles. This is what is most important, I believe.

I’ve been here for a short vacay at my hometown for over a month now and I’m so blessed to say that I’ve never seen myself rotten at my house doing nothing. Instead, I’m so fortunate to have a referral from a Korean student whom I met almost four years ago and have communicated often. She recommended her boyfriend and that’s the start of my part time job as an ESL teacher. Well, I can say that I’m really enjoying it a lot for my students so far are so kind and they have a very good sense of humour. Remember my student Andy? Yes, Andy, he is the friend of my student’s boyfriend who just recently went home. Well, so much to say about that history, Andy is a good student and he really pays more attention and is keen to ask questions about lots of things. I’m getting worried these days since the last time we met on Monday I can see that he really enjoyed but then all of a sudden he informed me yesterday to postpone our class today because he wasn’t feeling very well. I texted him this morning and still he isn’t feeling well but he assured me he already took some medicines which his friend gave him before he left. He said his friend was coming to his hotel this morning as well but knowing that he isn’t familiar of my hometown worries me a lot. I don’t know how he’s doing now. I should send him a message later just to check. Sighs. I hope he’d get well very soon so he can see some places before he goes back home in a few weeks hence.

Due to the heavy rain at my place yesterday I wasn’t able to meet Andy. We just texted and agreed to have a class this morning but he texted me early today asking to change our time to 15:00hrs this afternoon. Immediately, I replied to just cancel our class and have it on Monday instead as mylife and I are going to have pilgrimage to Birhen sa Regla this afternoon. There is nothing more fulfilling for me have pilgrimage to our memorable churches around Cebu City with mylife. I know he didn’t show up to work today. He just called his team manager a while back informing her he cannot come due to heavy rain early this morning. I just hope this today would be great for us.